Sometimes I wish I could copy myself

I started doing web development as a hobby many years ago. Eventually, I started making it my life career. The advantages and disadvantages quickly came very clear as you can see in my Working from Home post.

Development was once a fun hobby to pass the time. Then it became a job. The free time to work on personal projects is gone. All the dreams I once had to develop sites and systems for fun is now overtaken by the need to finish up and obtain new clients.

I also have a great desire to learn new things. I would love to learn new programming languages and better skills my design skills. I would love to continue to grow with my passion rather than be held still by it.

I’ve decided to copy myself, I will have 3 versions of myself throughout the day. Most people do this but rarely notice. The easiest way to notice is simply see how people react around different groups of friends, a lot of people will change.

The 3 New Types of Me

Working me

I will always have a need to work. It is one of my favorite things to do. My only issue is what I’m working on. Never do I get to work on one of my own ideas.

I always add a little flavor to every project I get. I add extra features that the site owner might not have thought of. But at the end of the day I can only say I did that, I can’t say it’s mine. I need something to be mine.

Therefore, I will have a work me that will focus on clients and I will limit my hours per day to simply working. A real world job would take anywhere from 8 – 9 hours of your day to get something done – sometimes there is overtime.

I am now going to get myself on a set schedule and follow specific work hours. I have clients with different sleep schedules so determining the right time of day to make this happen is difficult. I may just say that as long as 8 – 9 hours of work is done in a day, I’ll be happy. But this removes the structure which is an issue. I will also try to take two days off a week rather than working all 7 days.

For now, I’m going to say from 7am – 4pm I will be working on clients. Nothing more or less. Well, at least some time for lunch.

This will allow me a time to say no to the other two versions of me: playing and social.

Playing me

Everyone needs some “me” time. Time to do a hobby, read, or just watch paint dry. Without time alone, one never truly gets to understand themselves. I’ve decided to give myself 2 -3 hours a day for myself. I can read, play a game, or work on a personal project. Which ever I choose is my own decision. I just need to make sure I allow time each day to make myself happy and to grow without guilt.

This “me” time will be either after I’m done working or socializing. Just as long as I get some time to grow before I rest.

Social me

I have a lot of friends with very busy lives. I get invited to do multiple things a day and usually do very few of them, one if I’m lucky. People think since I work from home I have the ability to drop what I’m doing and just go have fun for the rest of the day. And this is very wrong.

They have the promise of a check on Friday, I only get paid when I get stuff done. Each day is a mini goal to finish something. I can’t just let time pass by because someone calls.

However, I can’t be a hermit and live in my office alone for the rest of my life. As I stated in my last two versions of me, I will have about 9 hours of work a day, and 3 hours of “me” time. This leaves about 4 – 5 hours of social fun. Weekends of course are a different story. There needs to be a cut off from work and play. Weekends will be for trips and more long term fun.

Conclusion

I need more structure in my life. I need to grow and have fun without guilt. Once I get a routine going everything should be cake. Productivity should go up. I can no longer just work until I almost fall asleep in my chair. I need a break and some fun.

I know this won’t be a one day change to get this all into place. Nothing of structure is overnight. But I’m going to start a countdown timer while I work to make sure I stay in my range. I’ll say no to social events until the timer is up. I’ll make sure I get some time each day to clear my head. I’ll make sure I set time aside for friends and family.

If I follow this simple yet complex structure, I think life will start to get a little more enjoyable. And who knows… one of my great side project ideas might end up becoming my new full time career.

Better to have loved and lost?

Is it better to have loved and lost, than to not have ever loved at all: something to tell someone to make them feel better about the amazingly huge fan of which was just hit with a large pile of shit.

Being loved, being in love, is to never lose or to be lost. I know this to be true, because love is the act of never giving up. Never stepping down from the person most dear to you. Walk with me on my journey of logic.

Friendship

I always say, that a true friend is someone that requires only your companionship. Those who desire your friendship for other reasons are not true friends at all. For instance, those friends that only call when something has gone wrong in their lives, or they just seem to have nothing better to do. Those who call you for computer problems, or who need help moving. These are not your true friends. People who need you are not your friends. It’s the people who want you that are.

Look around at your friends, asses what they gain from having you as a friend. If the answer is nothing then they might just be a true friend. Now look at them, what do you gain from your friendship with them? What do you gain? If the answer is still nothing, don’t change it. Enjoy it.

Dating

People start dating for one reason, attraction. Guy approaches girl because he find her quite good looking. Girl responds by thinking “he looks wealthy, I’ll date him”. They get to know each other and either a bond grows or fades.

Dating is not as complex as individuals make it; it is not a chance encounter or a gift from God. Dating is simply a numbers game.

At any given point, a single individual could walk into a bar and ask every person out one by one. Eventually, someone would say yes. That’s the true speed dating. This might seem sick, but it’s true. Everyone does it, just on a long term scale. They feel as if they need to meet different people at different times to make them feel special about the gesture of a midnight smooch or two.

Find someone you like, or a group of people, and ask them out. Move on if declined. Dating 101.

Love

Love is happiness until death, and also impossible.

Conclusion

  1. Have fun.
  2. Never try your hardest, you’ll always be let down with the results.
  3. Seek the people you can stand the most, and stay with them.
  4. Don’t forget the past, BUT forgive it, and move on.

It is not possible to have loved and lost, because in love… no one loses.